rainy day
it's been raining pretty much all day, which is supposed to lead to a bunch of flooding and stuff thorugh tomorrow. hooray for spring. and hooray for purple grapes. i love them, way more than the green kind. mom just got some and i ate a huge bunch of them while bumming around earlier. tonight's an eat popcorn while reading a good book or watching a movie sort of night, so i think i'm going to go do something along those lines. but speaking of movies...
top five movies coming out soon (that i want to see)...
- revenge of the sith. no-brainer.
- millions. looks really sweet, precious, thought-provoking, and hilarous, all at the same time. plus i'm just a sucker for a british accent
- crash. not a real hyped-up film, but it's coming out this weekend and looks like it could be really deep and challenging
- war of the worlds. hard to go wrong with the spielberg/cruise combo. should be good
- kingdom of heaven. i'm a fan of ridley scott's work, and this looks like it could be another epic classic
i haven't been to the theater in for-e-ver, but that may change in the near future. i have a hard time justifying spending eight bucks to see a mediocre movie in a so-so theater. i miss the dollar theater and the regal back in ohio, those made for a good combo
how cool would
this be? which leads me to the question... what would you do with a hundred thousand dollars? and don't say pay taxes, pay off school, tithe, donate it to a charitable organization, pay off your house or car, etc. i know everyone would do all that first. but what about after you've been wise and judicious with it... how do you blow the rest? my top five ways...
- travel. tour the states/continent/world until my cash supply runs dry. i could probably make it last a few years, live on a meager budget, and just see everything and everywhere i could. alaska, australia, ireland, spain, russia, mexico, peru (criminal intent behind that visit), iceland, the bahamas, south africa, israel, china, and maybe even canada. but definitely not france
- buy a jeep and a motorcycle. pretty self explanatory. maybe it wouldn't use all the money, but it'd be enough for me
- build my own recording studio. not that i'd have any clients or anything, but it'd be really cool to design, plan, customize, and build one to your specs. might stretch the money to the limit, but it'd get you a nice start for sure
- donate my time. if i could afford not to work for a while, there's tons of stuff i'd be able to do and help out in that i wouldn't otherwise be able to. whether it's as extravagant as going overseas as a missionary or as simple as working for free for a charity or some other organization, it'd be well worth it
- run for governor. i'm sure it wouldn't be enough to get me elected (especially since i'm not old enough, i don't think), but i sure couldn't do a worse job than the guy we have in office right now. maine is, i belive, the second-highest taxed state in the nation, and what do we have to show for it? um... not sure. we have nice waterfronts and lots of trees. hooray
i was going through some papers and notebooks last week when i ran across a bunch of my papers from school that i had saved. gosh... i remember living in the library for a couple of them, bringing back piles of books to wade through, and of course getting them done at the absolute last second. it's the only way to go. sort of funny to go back and read dr. baker's comments and realize that i still have no clue about how to use a comma or document APA style. but i learned much more important stuff, i'd like to think. hope so anyways, for what they charge
i got carded for the first time ever last week. i bought a movie at wal-mart and they asked for ID because, you know, you have to be 17 to buy an R-rated movie there (bought
man on fire... really great movie, although you'll never want to visit mexico after seeing it. my sis hated it, but it's a fave of mine). so i guess i don't look convincingly older than 17. that's heartening... or something. i guess i'm just blessed with an eternally youthful face. i'll be glad of it when i'm 30, i'm sure
i heard
in the end on the radio today for the first time in forever. great sing-along tune. and, the end.
more safety, less sleep
the only thing worse than volunteering for something is being involuntarily volunteered. and thus, i've been pressed into rising an hour earlier tomorrow to attend some sort of special safety meeting at work. woo-hoo. good thing safety is so much fun
when in doubt as to what to say, let pictures do it for you. my feelings towards hw were obviously formed from an early age, and they remain about the same, even after a years absence from formal education
wish i still had that shirt.
i love the red sox, but they're killing me. they still manage to find a way to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory on a semi-regular basis. at least my guy manny is en fuego. he's been my favorite player since back in '94 when he came up with the indians. and, i have no idea where i was going with all that. go sox
and everyone will say it’s just an accident,
like some mishap or a tragedy
i think that failure has a purpose,
and i don't believe its chance if i fall
and i know that if I ever do fall, he will catch me
and if he ever lets me fall down,
for the good of those who believe him,
he will make me into a cannonball
unblemished, and faultless,
a burning luminescence
unequalled precision, beyond your scope of vision,
cannonball.
(fif)
the end.
a weekend in scranton
i've driven past the town dozens of time on my journeys to and from school, but never stopped in the thriving metropolis of scranton, PA until this past weekend. luke h. and were trying to get together, but the vast distance between our residences made it a bit far to travel for just a weekend, so we decided to meet somewhere in the middle, which just happened to be scranton. so we booked a hotel, brought games and movies and the laptop, and partied like it was senior year all over again. we stayed in a uber-seedy hotel on saturday, which added to the adventure and humor of the weekend, to put it mildly. but it made our stay at the holiday inn the next night feel like heaven, so that was a plus. and we cruised the streets of scranton looking for wifi hotspots so we could get our internet fix, and ended up camping out in front of the same house two days in a row. the neighbors must have wondered about us, but fortunately nobody called the fuzz on us. the holiday inn had free wireless available, so we didn't have need to go trolling for a signal during our stay there.
we ate alot (in sporadic intervals, sort of like a snake), played multiple games of epic duels (which has to be the best. board/card game. ever), watched some tv and a movie and generally enjoyed lazing around and talking and laughing at good times had in time past and present. we were going to try and make it to a minor league baseball game, but the weather didn't cooperate, so we got our sports fix on tv instead. and my gaming skills are far superior to luke's in every way imaginable, as is my intellect. just for the record.
so yeah... it was a wicked good time.
and luke introduced me to this great song about a trucker who loses a load of 30,000 lbs of bananas in none other than scranton, PA. should have been the theme song for the weekend. it's hilariously awesome
but for now, it's back to the real world, with work and all that fun stuff awaiting tomorrow. i wish i could just be a nomad of sorts, traveling and visiting friends all the time, living out of a suitcase in hotels, my car my only permanent home. but weekend excursions will have to serve to whet my wanderlust for now.
turtle island concert next weekend. yessss
the end.
thousand words
i just got some film developed, and judging by how long ago some of the pictures were taken, it's safe to assume that i don't snap photos at prolific rate. because i don't. nonetheless, here's a few of my favorites from the roll. they're all in thumbnail form to save loading time on the page, but you can click on them to link to the full shot. all images copyright 2005 and are the exclusive property of noonan productions, inc. gosh that sounds cool to say that. but anyhow...
new years morning, atop cadillac mountain, just before dawn...
then right at sunrise...
two good friends and fellow adventurers, and three random people in the background (including one who looks like a gnome)
the alien who lives at work, hiding in a secluded spot above the mustard
the exterior of the warehouse. looks sort of pretty. it's actually really huge, but this is just the main entrance
mornings in the winter are a suck. especially when you have to clean off your car every day
pier fries in their natural environment. the old orchard pier is way in the background. i love this picture
some washed-up lobster traps on the beach after a storm
i have no idea what this was, but it looked cool, so i took it's picture
you know me. i'd never disobey a warning like this, especially when part of it's written in french
the blue foot hanging in my car, which has ceased to freshen the air long ago, but which remains nonetheless. taken in a target parking lot to use up the roll so i could get it developed
the end.
ONE MONTH!
and if you have to ask, "until what?," then i'm not sure i know you.
the end.
23
there's something about the age of 23 that seems to have inspired and driven musicians and songwriters to reference this magical age in a slew of songs. maybe it's because it's an age of mystery and bewilderment, now knowing what the future or even tomorrow holds. maybe it's because it's an age of excitement, with endless possibilities lying in front of you. maybe it's because it's an age of frustration, of discontent with the way life is playing itself out. maybe it's because it's an age of longing, of wishing for life to return to the way it used to be back in grade school/ high school/ college. maybe it's an age of completion, of bridging that final gap between adolesensce and adulthood. or maybe it's none of those, or maybe all of them rolled into one giant life-sized burrito. whatever the case, here's my...
top five songs which reference the age of twenty-three:
- 23, jimmy eat world. "amazing still it seems/ i'll be 23/ i wont always love what i'll never have/ i wont always live in my regrets." great song, grows on you the more you listen to it. yeah, it's your typical 'pseudo-sappy emo love/heartbreak song,' but still very poignant and powerful. awesome tune
- pardon me, incubus. "a decade ago, i never thought i would be/ at twenty-three on the verge of spontaneous combustion/ woe is me." seriously rockin' song, plus it raises a valid question: is who you are today who you dreamed you would be when you were younger? and if not, how come? added bonus: first documentated use of the word "combustication," at least that i'm aware of. i love it when people make up words
- what's my age again, blink 182. "and that's about the time she walked away from me/ nobody likes you when you're 23." textbook case of age dissatisfaction, wishing for the good ol' days of years past. it never ceases to crack me up whenever i hear the radio edit version of this song with the line "the state looks down on mtv" replacing... um... the other line. yeah
- maintain conciousness, relient k. "because it's 17, 18, 19 routine/and here at 23 it's the same old me." falls into the "life can be so mundane and boringly routine" lyrical typification of this age. catchy tune, not the best track on the album by any means, but a good little ponderance about the need to break from our boring lives and live a little
- high five, calibretto 13. "even though we're hitting twenty/ and we haven't yet matured/ you know i think it's kind of funny/ that we're all a bunch of nerds." ok, so this doesn't reference the age of 23 exactly, instead settling for the broader age bracket of the 20's. nevertheless, this is a hilariously awesome song, and this list would be remiss without its presence. if you haven't ever heard it, you really should. really
i guess i'm still a kid at heart, when it comes right down to it. i still love skipping rocks on the water, reading some of the same books i loved when i was younger, playing with legos and waging wars on the battlefields of a risk board. i hate waiting... i want all the good stuff to happen right here, right now, not next week or the week after or years from now. christmas is a magical time, even without santa claus. i hope and dream extravagently, thinking my wildest dreams just might come true, then easily become crestfallen when they don't. i love driving with the windows down and letting one arm wave in the wind. i idolize my favorite athletes. i hate waking up in the morning. bugs intrigue me. i get excited whenever mom cooks one of my favorite meals. my room is usually rather unkempt. and so on and so forth. not that i'm discontent, but i think there's still a little bit too much of a kid in me to be really ready to be all grown up and everything that comes along with it
i did a bunch of errands today, and managed to forget to get about half the stuff i needed to, even though i made a list and everything. i did get bread and yogurt and a paintbrush, though, so at least i remembered some of the key items
i fell just plain worn out and empty, and i'm not even sure why. the young girl holding the penguin has me mystified, too
the end.
"follow Me"
it's probably the simplest command anyone has ever uttered. no sidebar attachments, addendums, clauses or conditions, asterisks or footnotes, hidden meanings or secret messages. two words, repeated many times in different fashions throughout scripture, their basic meaning understandable by even preschoolers.
"follow me"
it's probably the hardest command anyone has ever issued. so much is left unclear. follow you to... where? when, right now? i can't bring anything along? or anyone? how can you follow someone if you don't know where they are going to lead you? we're supposed to be smarter than that, not easily tricked into blindly following some person we've never seen, never talked to in person, who lived over two thousand years ago and was in the spotlight for perhaps a scant three years or so. follow
you? follow the unseen, unfelt, untouched? leave
everything behind? let's not be rediculous here.
"follow me"
it's probably the most grace-filled (i like that term better than 'gracious') command anyone has ever given. would we follow if we knew where we were going? probably not. we think we would, we say that it'd make it easier, we ask for knowledge about the road ahead, but the truth of the matter is that if we saw what lay before us, we'd probably say "thanks, but no thanks." would we follow if we stopped to really, truly count the cost? most likely we'd pass. it's the simplicity of the command that gives it power, and adds to it's appeal. how hard can it be to follow? even i should be able to do that, shouldn't i?
"follow me"
it's the only command we need to obey, for all others fall under it's umbrella. easy enough to understand and do, impossible to fully comprehend and obey.
it's the simplest struggle we'll ever engage in.
and a man offers me a breakfast burrito, and i don't know why
so i'm sitting here, listening to the red sox, waiting for the first coat of paint to dry on the closet in the bathroom ceiling so i can slather on a second coat. i'm not terribly convinced about the necessity of painting the upstairsbathroomclosetceiling, but it will put a smile on the queen mother's face, and that's good enough a reason for me
top five books on my to-read list right now, resulting from my monday trip to the library:
- the untouchables, by elliot ness. an awesome book, tells of how pretty much one guy managed to take down the entire gangster subculture ruled by al capone in chicago in the late twenties during prohibition. it's better than fiction. just finished the book, actually, now i want to see the movie
- best short stories of 2004, by a bunch of people. read a few stories already, and it's been a bit of a disappointment. some have been stellar, but others were, in my opinion, decidedly subpar. the ability to satisfyingly conclude a story seems to be a lost art. i mean, i know not every story has to have a traditional ending, but at least one or two here and there should, instead of always ending on a cliffhanger or a sort of question mark. silly modern writers
- faithful, by o'nan and king. two hard-core red sox fans put together their running commentary and correspondence from the magical run the sox had over the course of last year. been waiting for it to be in at the library for a few months, and it finally is. woot
- the bretheren, by john grisham. story of a brilliant scam run by three judges in prison. not his best book, but it's pretty good nonetheless. i mean, it's grisham
- season on the brink, by john feinstein. about bobby knight and the 1985-86 college basketball season. feinstein is one of my favorite sports writers, and this is the book that pretty much put him on the map. should be a good read
we're having a coloring contest at work. yes, you read right... a
coloring contest. periodically they do all this "health-awareness" crapola, and put up posters reminding you to eat fruits and vegetables and exercise and blah-bla-blah. the contest is supposed to be for children and grandkids of employees, but i think i'm going to submit an entry nonetheless. i may not be artistic, but i can color in between the lines like nobody's business. i'll put up a picture of the picture to be colored later if i remember... it's rediculously hilarious. i laughed out loud when i saw it
so when i walked into work this morning, a guy i had trained a couple of weeks ago was waiting for me. he jumped up when he saw me, ran over with something in his hand, and asked, "hey, noonan, i have a breakfast burrito for you!" um... ok. normally i don't turn down free food at any time, but this for some reason weirded me out, so i politely declined. weird
funny looking/sounding words of today: waif, smorgasbord, and bulbous. and if you combine them, you get a smorgasbord of bulbous waifs. and if you can look someone in the eye and say that without laughing, i'll give you quarter. really
my favorite joke: "don't move, i'll call ski patrol!"
the end
snow? in april?
only in maine
in other news... there is no other news. i made a trip to the library yesterday so my afternoon and evening have been engrossed in reading, and not in doing anything exciting. oh wait, that's pretty much like every other day... so nevermind
is there a more revolting named product than "tofu pups?" hot dogs are
fine they way they are... no need to defile them by replacing their classic meat interior with a soy byproduct. it's rediculous. i'm convinced that the french are using soy products to infiltrate our society. check it out... it's everywhere. the only acceptable use of soy products is in soy sauce. period.
speaking of the french... props to
liz for passing along
this link the other day. hilarious
top five things to eat at lunch at work:
- granola bar. hard to beat it for reliability, taste, and performance. i love the ones with the layer of yogurt on them... so good
- yogurt. good source of carbs, protein, and smooth, creamy fruity goodness. only drawback is it requires refrigeration... and if you forget to do that, and eat one anyways, well, things don't always turn out all that well
- everything bagel (with cream cheese). whether you toast it or not, it's always good
- pbj sandwich. it's a classic, and for good reasons. acceptable variations include the application of fluff or chocolate chips. you just can't go wrong with a couple of those in your lunchbox
- leftovers. this is sort of a luck-of-the-draw category, as you never know what's going to be waiting for you in the fridge, but if you're armed with some tupperware, a fork, and maybe a microwave, you can relive the goodness that was last night's supper
Q: Why do they have trees in Paris?
A: So the Germans can march in the shade instead of the sun
the end.
cool things of note
- anyone can comment, no account or registration required. this means no need for lurking, just beneath the surface, constantly reading but never talking. that's so homeschooler-ish. trust me, i should know
- i'm not a self-absorbed egomaniac. there's a much deeper reason for why i chose the url for the site that i did ('noonanville'), but unfortunately there's probably only like a couple other people in the world who will get the humor. suffice it to say that it's an attempt on my part to rescue the good name of noonan from the level of disrespect is has fallen to in other corners of the world wide web
- lobsters are tasty
- i'm not too good at html, so don't be surprised if every now and then everything starts to look real screwy. and if it always looks really weird, well, that's probably how it's supposed to be. who knows
- um, on second thought... there's no real cool things to be found here. you're probably better off playing solitaire or minesweeper. and if you type in "xyzzy [enter][ shift][ enter]" while you're playing minesweeper, the upper left hand corner pixel on your screen will show you whether you're over a mine or not. really. you need a dark background for it to work, though. information like that is invaluable
- however, if you do manage to place a value on it, i do accept cash donations. or even checks. stock options works, too. criticism and suggestions are accepted, too, but not as readily as money is
and i just finished reading a story where a man won a serval (some sort of wild african cat) in a bar bet and brought i home and it tore his bedroom to pieces and then escaped out a ladder. and it was decidedly not one of the best american short stories of 2004, so the entire book is a baldfaced lie. there's some other good ones, but even so, that was just rediculous.
the end.
a tale of two banana rooms
what would you do with 15 tons of bananas?
that's the question my employers were asking last week. it seems that someone in the fresh foods department made an extremely unfortunate error, and shipped out bananas to all the stores from the wrong room. now, this in and of itself wasn't a horrendous crime, as the bananas that were shipped were sent out a day too early, so they'd be just a tad under-ripe. however, it did mean that the bananas that
were supposed to be shipped out that night were still there, maturing in ripeness like bananas always do, and would thus be unsalable the next day.
the bananas were in perfect condition... the problem is, by the time they were shipped to the stores, put on the shelves, and bought and brought home, they'd have gone past being "perfectly ripe" to being "disgustingly brown and smushy." thus, a surplus of bananas. unsaleable, unshippable, but perfect for eating.
so they decided to give them all away. there's quite a few people who work at A.W.S., but then again, there were lots of bananas, so there was plenty for all. even if everyone brought some home, it'd come out to something like 20 lbs of bananas per person.
that's
alot of bananas.
so i took a few bunches, trying to do my part to rid them of their excessive burden of bananas. we ate some, gave some away, and that was that. but it got me to thinking...
what
could you do with 30,000+ lbs of bananas? there has to be some great idea, some unrealized dream that only a cornucopia of bananas could make possible. but what is it? make the worlds largest smoothie? befriend an entire colony of monkeys? create a giant slip-n-slide? sell them to criminals to aid in their escapes from law enforcement (i mean, it always works in the books, doesn't it? criminal throws a banana peel on the ground, cop slips, criminal gets away)?
my top five things to eat that include a banana:
- banana cream pie. so good
- peanut butter and banana sandiwch. never had it? you gotta try
- a smoothie. needs assorted other fruits, but bananas and milk are the main ingredients
- banana bread. a no-brainer, i know, but a good recipe still makes for worthwhile eating
- banana and cheese. i'm stretching my brain at this point to think of things, but this is actually pretty good. just take a banana, wrap a piece of cheese around it, and enjoy
"and i learn a valuable lesson about banana peels and me sliding on them." the end.
and the curse continues
i actually have one guy who i trained who just recently hit the three-month mark, which is an all-time record for longevity for anyone who has been under the tutelage of noonan, but that one check mark beside my name is swamped by a deluge of dismal failures.
the latest chap who i took under my wings hasn't left yet, but his potential longevity at the warehouse isn't a proposition that i'd care to wager on. consider the following: earlier this week, he showed up late for work, only by about ten minutes or so. when inquiries were made as to why he wasn't there by 9, he offered the following explanation...
he was pulled over by a game warden (yes, not even a real cop) for reckless driving and so forth. he didn't have a license (it having been previously suspended), so he gave the warden his state ID insetad. upon running the plates and looking up his driving record, the following stats came to light:
-8 unpaid speeding ticket in three states
-1 suspension of his license (which explains him not having it)
-$2,000 in unpaid fines, fees, and court costs
-2 warrants out for his arrest
-1 uninspected, uninsured vehicle being driven
all this information was offered up freely and with an air of almost pride. he was perhaps most impressed with the fact that he was allowed to go on his way to work, most likely because, as he said, "my grandfather was a state trooper in the area for years." yes, that must have been it, because there's no other earthly explanation for why he wasn't arrested on the spot, except maybe for the fact that it was a game warden who pulled him over in the first place.
but then he gave me his mcgriddle breakfast sandwich because he wasn't hungry, plus i think that he views me as his mentor and sensai. so we laughed at his story, i ate the sandwich, and it was another typical day at the warehouse lunch table.
the end.
testing
1-2-3
so i go to the rendezvous in april, and have in-depth arguments about the smurfs
and so it goes
