coins and catchers
while i was out running some assorted errands yesterday afternoon, i ended up hopping onto the highway on my way home in order to avoid some of the rush hour traffic in portland. it's only a sixty cent toll to get on the interstate, and for once i actually had money with me: the minuteman was locked and loaded with change. so usually in that situation i'll just dump coins into the coin basket until the light turns green, and then off i go. but as i drove up to the toll booth, i noticed that the "coins-only" lane was closed due to construction. uh-oh. this means that i actually had to count out 60 cents and hand it to the toll collector... and all i seemed to have was pennies. i'd used up all my quarters, all my nickels and almost all my dimes (i did end up finding one truman-embossed piece of silver), so i was forced to sit there and count out 50 cents worth of pennies to a very unamused and grumpy toll collectorit took an eternity
his disparaging glare was causing me no small amount of discomfort, and i ended up dropping and fumbling and re-counting my coins until i managed to finally hand over the required amount. he didn't bother to count them... didn't even say a word. just took the coins and gave me a parting look of death. i couldn't tell, but i'm pretty sure the drivers occupying the long line of vehicles backed up behind me weren't very genial either
(it probably didn't help that i was trying to hold back laughter the whole time)
i remember once while i was driving home from college, i had about four dollars worth of pennies with me that i was going to use to pay the tolls. this large amount of change in my possesion was mostly due to the fact that when we had the occasional poker game at the apartment, pennies and other small denomination coins were the currency of choice. i had made out like a bandit (mostly thanks to jesse) the night before, and took the opportunity to put my winnings to good use. no better place to dispose of a surplus of pennies than at the tolls, right?
so i get to the toll in new york, pull up to the booth, and hand the lady there a small plastic bag with a dollars worth of pennies in it (i even wrote "one dollar" on the outside, so there'd be no question). she looks at it, and says "i can't take this." you've got to be kidding me! so i stare back at her and reply, "it's U.S. legal tender. you have to take it," and then drove off before she could try and make some other feeble argument. i felt like i was sticking it to new york in a small way, which made it all the sweeter
i'm such a rebel.
i hesitate to say this, knowing that it will only cause the level of flak i receive to increase... but there should be a fairly concrete analysis of my current and future plans and itinerary coming soon (tomorrow?). so stay tuned. or not. or whatever.
18 DAYS until pitchers and catcher report at spring training for the red sox. woot. this should be yet another banner year to be a red sox fan, and needless to say i'm pumped for the season to start. in honor of the fast-approaching baseball season, here's a video that contains two of the better flavors of life: conan o'brien and baseball. enjoy
3 Comments:
Unspeakable joy and mirth shall fall upon the entire state of Ohio should your news be what a generation of Ohioans have been hoping and praying for otherwise...whatever.
Do you feel pulled ever so slightly to the South and West? If so that's due to the magnetic energy being spun from the Ohio side despite the giant within you your gravitational pull is no match. I would advise relocating to avoid scoliosis or other such maladies that might occur as a result of a prolonged engagement with a force such as the Ohio side. Which reminds me if you should join us in the land of milk and honey, the SPC could be wiped out in one fell swoop once you harness the Ohio side's powers...
And you are Patrick Noonan, the biggest JackASS who lives in Westbrook, Maine.
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