my life as a nomad

mannikins

i mentioned in passing a couple weeks ago that mannikins really creep me out. not in a "run away screaming from the store" sort of way, but more of a "shudder or jump whenever i see one" kind of reaction. mabe i'm the only person in the world who suffers from this malady, but i doubt it. i scrolled through a list of phobias, and i didn't see any that were labeled "fear of mannikins." maybe it's a new category?

anyways, that's beside the point. the reason i mention is it that i was pondering my irrational hatred for mannikins earlier today while doing the dishes, and trying to pinpoint just what it is that i really don't like about them. and then it struck me:

they look almost-human, but they're not. close but not quite.

i remember reading an article in wired magazine about robots a while back (couldn't re-locate the article, sorry). one of the points of discussion was that there's this imaginary line between robotic and human or lifelike. people are very accepting of robots as robots right up until this threshold (which varies from person to person), but once a robot becomes too lifelike or human or just plain "real" for them, they freak out. it's not just in isolated cases that this happens either, as it seems to be a pretty basic reaction amongst most people. again, the threshold for everyone is different, but the principle is the same: things that look "real," but aren't, make people cringe. robots that look, talk, and move like real humans cross the line for most people. mannikins are enough to do it for me


but the more i thought about it, the more i realized that i'm a mannakin myself. i'm supposed to be alive, or "real" in Christ. and from the outside i can do a pretty good job of giving that impression... you know how it works. but when it comes right down to it, i'm more of a mannikin than a real person:

standing around.
not doing anything.
not talking.
trying to look like i belong without acting like i do
scared to move, scared to speak, lest people find out that the "real" me is much uglier than the finely-dressed mannikin standing in the shop window

yikes.

i really resonated with what my friend luke f. was talking about in a recent blog entry. the big question is, as he put it, "what is it that causes the transformation from believing in your head to believing in your heart?"

it's one thing to have the head knowledge... but how do you transfer that to heart feelings?


by doing. talking. going. seeing. crying. praying. screaming. wondering. asking. stretching. risking. loving. living.

by being real.

so how do i be more real? how do i make a lasting impact in this world, instead of just standing around like a mannikin? i mean, ANYONE can just stand there. if God wanted me to stay in one spot and never say anything, go anywhere, do anything, to never cry or love, he'd have made me in the following fashion:

no legs.
no hands.
no eyes.
no heart.

last i checked, i have all of those. (lemme check again... yup. all there). so obviously, i have no legitimate excuses.

mannikin recruiting, or as it's more commonly called, "lifestyle evangelism," is all fine and good if you want to convert all your friends and family into a giant army of mannikins (now there's a creepy thought), but totally worthless if it's your only way of communicating with the world. don't get me wrong... i'm totally on-board with the idea that if we live our lives for Christ, then people will be drawn to us because they see Him manifested in us. but am i living a life that would draw people to anything? it's like having a sign-up list for a friday night: "who want's to stand around and do nothing?" um, nobody. hello.

is it any wonder that one of the single biggest knocks on christianity is christians themselves? how am i ever supposed to convince someone that a life in Christ is so wonderful when they don't see me doing anything? even the military has this figured out... they use recruiting phrases like "see the world. get training. help save lives. be an army of one. make a difference. blow stuff up." you get the idea. what are we offering people? anything? people can't follow someone who's standing still. if they do, they end up just standing around and not moving either


so... now what? how do i go from being fake to being real?



what's the difference between a real person and being a mannakin? simple. one's alive; one isn't. one looks like a person; one doesn't. so if i want to be really alive, then i need to...

do.
go.
serve.
hurt.
cry.
feel.
love.
live.


be Real.

"Little Rabbit," she said, "don't you know who I am?"

The Rabbit looked up at her, and it seemed to him that he had seen her face before, but he couldn't think where.

"I am the nursery magic Fairy," she said. "I take care of all the playthings that the children have loved. When they are old and worn out and the children don't need them any more, then I come and take them away with me and turn them into Real."

"Wasn't I Real before?" asked the little Rabbit.

"You were Real to the Boy," the Fairy said, "because he loved you. Now you shall be Real to every one." And she held the little Rabbit close in her arms and flew with him into the wood.

It was light now, for the moon had risen. All the forest was beautiful, and the fronds of the bracken shone like frosted silver. In the open glade between the tree-trunks the wild rabbits danced with their shadows on the velvet grass, but when they saw the Fairy they all stopped dancing and stood round in a ring to stare at her.

"I've brought you a new playfellow," the Fairy said. "You must be very kind to him and teach him all he needs to know in Rabbit-land, for he is going to live with you for ever and ever!"

And she kissed the little Rabbit again and put him down on the grass.

"Run and play, little Rabbit!" she said.

But the little Rabbit sat quite still for a moment and never moved. For when he saw all the wild rabbits dancing around him he suddenly remembered about his hind legs, and he didn't want them to see that he was made all in one piece. He did not know that when the Fairy kissed him that last time she had changed him altogether. And he might have sat there a long time, too shy to move, if just then something hadn't tickled his nose, and before he thought what he was doing he lifted his hind toe to scratch it.

And he found that he actually had hind legs! Instead of dingy velveteen he had brown fur, soft and shiny, his ears twitched by themselves, and his whiskers were so long that they brushed the grass. He gave one leap and the joy of using those hind legs was so great that he went springing about the turf on them, jumping sideways and whirling round as the others did, and he grew so excited that when at last he did stop to look for the Fairy she had gone.

He was a Real Rabbit at last, at home with the other rabbits.
(excerpt taken from the velveteen rabbit)

God knows i'm real. i know i'm real. but do i look it? am i moving, living, loving?

no more standing around.

(because creepy mannikins just ain't cool)

-noonan-

p.s. i highly recommend reading flashbang by mark steele for a much clearer, poignant, and funnier take on the whole idea of living a worthwhile life. excellent book. you can even read the first chapter online if you want

posted by Patrick @ 7:48 PM