things that keep me awake at night
questions like these cause me to toss and turn:- can a squirrel run faster than a human? they seem to be able to scamper around pretty fast. i was out for a run this afternoon, and i saw one cross the road in front of me at a pretty good rate of speed. and i got to wondering, if a squirrel (or squirrels) started chasing me, would i be able to outrun them? i hope so, but i'm not sure
- if it's 50 degrees out and there's no snow on the ground in the middle of january, is it still winter? one definition i found described winter as this:
"A period of time characterized by coldness, misery, barrenness, or death."
let's see... coldness? no. misery? only when i try running after eating a double quarter pounder with cheese. barrenness? not so much. death? i saw some road kill, but i'm not sure that counts. so was it winter today? i'm not sure. it didn't seem like it... especially for the middle of january in maine, for crying out loud - is there such a thing as the boogie man?
- who would win in a fight: batman or spider-man? i think spider-man would, because he actually has some superpowers... but i think that batman would give him a better run for his money than, say, the green goblin did
- can you ride a giraffe?
- if i had a million dollars, would i be a much different person than i am now?
- if you're swimming in the ocean and you see a 40-lb lobster (the world record is 44 lbs), would it try to eat you? i know lobster's will eat fish and occasionally each other... but would one that big try and take on a human? i'd be more worried about one of those beasts coming after me than a shark
- if llamas took up the bad habit of chewing tobacco, would they spit even more?
hmmm. sometimes i just don't know...
-noonan-
posted by Patrick @ 7:13 PM
2 Comments:
yes the lobster would eat you because you ooze lobster stank from the lobsters you have eaten in the past....idk about squirrels catching you cause you could stomp on them but what about flying squirrels catching you? if you were a millionare you would be eccentric...spending it on seeing if llamas spit more..
There's still snow here, but no squirrels or llamas. Well, actually there's a very friendly black llama (negro llama? African Amerian llama?) just down the road from here, but I can't see here from my house.
Let me try the million dollars first so that I can protect you from any bad stuff that might happen to you if you get it.
Yes, there is a boogie man. He's the dude who pushes the snow off the roof in the middle of the night and consequently causes you to wet...um, scares you to death!
According to that fabulous movie "Leonard Part VI" (Bill Cosby) you can ward off man eating lobsters with sticks of real butter. You should ALWAYS carry butter with you just in case.
Spidey rules!
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