my life as a nomad

car trouble

yesterday started off great and ended up sucking.
today started off sucky and ended up great.

weird how that works.


right after i got done with work yesterday, liz and i headed up north to run a couple errands. i can't say what our main agenda, but it rhymes with "christmas shopping." actually, that's what it was, sort of. i finally figured out the perfect gift idea for my mom, who is pretty much the most difficult person in the world to buy for. most people would be offended by what i got her and think of it as a worthless gift, in the veins of a lump of coal, but i'm banking on it being well-received by her. more on that after christmas.

anyhow, since we were going to be in the waterville area, liz wanted to stop at the barnes and noble in augusta, and it also worked out that we got a chance to stop at big g's for supper. if you've never been there (which i can guarantee you haven't, unless you've ever lived in or been to central maine before), then you should. really. they make pretty much the best and biggest sandwiches in the world... or at least, in maine. they're ginormous. I can barely eat an entire one, which is saying something. and their whoopie pies are incredibly huge too.

basically, it's like a sandwich heaven on earth.

best part is they have a menu list of seemingly hundreds of sanwiches, and most of them have really unique names... for instance, i got a bill cosby, while my sister enjoyed a wishbone. we also picked up a sea pig for dad, a gerry garcia for mom, and a victorias secret for aunt erin (as well as a veggie wrap for grandma. no cool name for it, but i'm sure it was still superb). as you can tell, stopping there is almost a prerequisite if you're in the area, as is picking up sandwiches for you immediate and extended family.

(you can see their entire menu here, at big-g-s-deli.com)

mmmm, sandwiches....


anyways, then we stopped in at barnes and noble. i love browsing in bookstores. it's sort of like being in a really nice library, except you feel like you're getting away with something by skimming thorugh books and magazines without having to buy them. it's a sweet deal.


the evening took a turn for the worse once we got back to yarmouth, where i had met up with liz and parked my car before we headed north. when i started my car, it sounded like someone had attached several cats to the inner workings of the engine, all of which were now shrieking in agony because i was foolish enough to think that if i drove my car there, i should be able to drive it back. so... we called AAA (which is close to AA only in the number of a's in it's name), and then waited FOREVER until the tow truck finally came. then they came and towed it off to the shop, where they got a chance to look at it today.

fortunately it was still at the shop by this morning, because the towing company left the keys in the car.

overnight.

IN THE IGNITION.

(morons.)

anyways, the shrieking noise is gone. supposedly it was a belt and bearings or some unknown part that was about to fall apart and completely self destruct. so it's a good thing i didn't try and drive it home, which i almost did. going to the car mechanic is vaguely like going to the doctors... they tell you what's wrong, you nod and pretend you know what they're talking about, then shell out large amounts of cash in order to fix it.

"yes, after a preliminary checkup, we've determined that your rotary sphincter bearing needs to be replaced."
"in me, or my car?"
"both, actually. that will be 23 zillion dollars."
"ok"


so my rotary sphincter bearing is fixed, and it was *only* 150 dollars. i just met a guy yesterday who was walking up and down the streets with a large bag flung over his shoulder, who offered to sell me a portable dvd player for only a hundred bucks. good thing i didn't buy one, because i didn't plan on this expense. plus i'd probably have gotten arrested for buying stolen goods.

the bright part of the day was that as i was walking home from work (fortunately my delivery area is only a few miles away), they garage called to say that my car was fixed and good to go... when i was literally within a hundred feet of it, just walking by. it was serendipitous timing, and they thought that i must have had telepathic powers or a jet pack in order to get there as quickly as i did.

i'm just that good.

(or rather, God is)

they said my brakes should be ok... they sound terrible and make the whole car shudder, but i guess it's just because the rotors got warped after driving in that horrendous weather last friday.

"sorry, i won't be able to make it in to work today."
"why's that?"
"i have a warped rotor."
"you or your car?"
"both"


tomorrow's my last day of work (that i know of). so if you have a "real job" that pays "lots of money" and you think they'd "hire me," that'd be good to know. otherwise i'll trade in my car for a moped and deliver papers or something


hurra torpedo is an amazing band.


-noonan-


p.s.- my sister is amazing. she saved my butt yesterday and today. thank you liz. i owe you one (times a million).


p.p.s.- i wrote another letter today. here it is:

dear johnny damon,

you're an idiot (and not one of the lovable kind). i hope whoever cuts you hair for you in new york accidentally shears off one of your ears, and then sells it on ebay and uses the money to have your picture (sans hair) inserted in place of benedict arnold's under the definition of "traitor" in every dictionary in the world.

sincerely,


-noonan-

posted by Patrick @ 10:01 PM