application to be my girlfriend
(note: i'm not actually looking for a girlfriend. really. i was just thinking about how you have to fill out applications for all sorts of stuff, so i decided to make one up. and here it is. and if you fill it out and send it in to me, i'll laugh out loud and make fun of you, because this is all in jest. really)1. Name:
2. Position applying for:
3. Do you have any previous experience being a girlfriend?
3. If so, please list three most recent boyfriends, along with start and termination dates for each relationship, as well as reasons for leaving (if no prior relationships, please list name and phone number of sibling closest in age to yourself)
4. What is the earliest date you would be available to begin?
5. Do you meet all federal and state age requirements?
6. Please respond in short essay form (1-2 paragraphs) on a separate piece of paper to the following questions:
- Listen (or read the lyrics) to the song "Wizard Needs Food, Badly" by Five Iron Frenzy. What implications does this song have on any potential relationship, and what actions would you take to make sure that the basic tenets of the song are carried out? (lyrics available here)
- Please state your opinions on baseball, and the Red Sox in particular
- Describe your ideal vacation
- Cooking and cleaning: privilege or responsibility, and why?
- Riding on the back of a motorcycle: foolish and risky means of transportation, or incredibly romantic way to travel?
8. Describe your mother in 30 words or less
9. List your education, work experience, and current financial status
10. List three things you would change about myself, and three things you would change about yourself, in order to increase the chances of the relationship being successful (can be anything: appearance, job, character, etc)
the end.
(let me remind you again, this is a spoof. nothing should be taken terribly seriously. and if you're thinking, "gee, he didn't mention anything about God in there," let me remind you again that this is for entertainment's sake only. plus, the God stuff is assumed if you're applying)
posted by Patrick @ 4:35 PM
2 Comments:
ummmm...you probably have a ew active blog watchers who want to apply, were it not for your disclaimer.
Scott Kirppayne...awesome song that I never remember all the words to. Props to him because he uses "el camino" in it. Check it out here.
http://www.christianlyricsonline.com/artists/scott-krippayne/im-not-cool.html
carruck indeed.
a brilliant idea, indeed...and you could rest assured that anyone filling it out could be ruled out as a potential girlfriend for her obvious desperate state of procuring a boy. useful in many senses...no really, i'm surprised nobody filled it out. i thought about it, just because i'm a loser who loves to fill out surveys and applications for no reason whatsoever, but let's be honest, here...it wasn't going to happen since i'm happily dating anyway and actually...don't have the time. except that i DO have the time to ramble annoying on your blog at this moment and thusly am i doing so.
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